Bride of Frankenstein is a cartoon action adventure game, based on Mary’s Shelley‘s classic Frankenstein story, written by Paul Smith and Steve Howard of Timedata Ltd. and published by Ariolasoft in 1987. And it is absolute rubbish. Yes: Bride of Frankenstein is a malformed, badly-designed abomination that is barely worth a mention here.

You play as The Monster’s female love interest, Gretel, who must explore various locations looking for various body parts to bring her lover back to life again. Ever heard that one before? Gretel can open doors by carrying various keys, but can only carry one at a time, so must exchange them as she finds them. She also needs to find various tools to help her with her task, like a lamp to see in dark places and a plug to wire The Monster up to the mains.

The most annoying thing about this game is that the layout of the castle is very confusing. You enter a door downwards and come out of one upwards. The author(s) of this game didn’t think about logical directions too carefully when they made it, and navigating through the maze of rooms is difficult as a result. This isn’t just an orientation issue, it’s also a control issue. If you press down to go through a door below you, and come out of a door leading upwards, you more often than not end up exiting and re-entering doors. Sometimes to your death. It’s an absolute mess of a system and it demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of game design on the part of the developers.

Just as bad are the many rooms you walk into that are completely dark and seemingly impossible to get out of. Just what the authors of this game were thinking when they made it: I don’t know.

The graphics range from ‘okay’ to ‘dreadful’, and the ghosts and skeletons that chase you are equal parts comical and annoying. Especially when they appear from nowhere and trap you in a corner that you can’t escape from. Ending the game in seconds. You only get one life, so one mistake and it’s all over. Which could be argued is a blessing in disguise…

Bride of Frankenstein is pathetic. It’s definitely one of the worst games I’ve played in a long while and should be consigned to the dustbin of history forever.

More: Bride of Frankenstein on CSDb