In 1987 Konami released the hugely successful run-and-gun shoot ’em up Contra in arcades, and Gryzor is the localised European conversion of that game, published by Ocean Software in 1988.

I chose to grab the Amstrad CPC version for our Amstrad special because I read a gushing review of it on the Retro Gamer website, and – I have to be honest – having now played it: I think the game is appallingly bad!

I think the graphics are poor; the play area is tiny; the scrolling is dire; sprites blend into the backgrounds; it’s unfairly difficult, and borderline unplayable. I think that Gryzor on the Amstrad pales in comparison to literally any other version of Contra that I’ve ever played, and I also think that anyone prepared to gush over this game has rosier-tinted spectacles than even the most blind of fanboys…

I can’t play crap like this… I like my games to be fair and playable. And I don’t mind difficult games either, but I hate unfair ones and Gryzor sucks at being fair. Therefore it sucks at being a good video game. Give me Contra III, Contra: Hard Corps, or even Contra on the OG Game Boy, any day of the week over this absolute horse pucky.

More: Contra on Wikipedia