Konami‘s classic 1984 arcade game, Mikie, is a strange one. You play a schoolkid who must collect hearts across a series of five different stages and to ultimately deliver them to his girlfriend, Mandy, who is waiting for him outside school.

In the first stage Mikie is in a classroom and must get up out of his seat and bump other pupils out of theirs so that he can sit down in their place and collect the hearts that they’re protecting. As soon as Mikie stands up, though, the teacher will chase after him, and if he’s caught he’ll lose one of his three lives. To outwit the teacher Mikie can either sit down before he’s caught (in which case the teacher will cool off and return to the blackboard), or he can headbutt the teacher to stun him temporarily. When all the hearts have been collected in the classroom Mikie can then leave by the door and into the hallway, and then on to the second stage.

The second stage is the locker room, where the object is to break the lockers (by headbutting them three times each) and collect the hearts, while being chased by a janitor, a cook, and the classroom teacher. Mikie can headbutt his pursuers to stun them, and he can also pick up and throw basketballs at them, which are found inside three bins located around the room.

The third stage is the cafeteria where Mikie is pursued by two cooks and (again) the classroom teacher. While collecting hearts he must avoid being caught by either headbutting his pursuers or by throwing roasts at them which can be picked-up from the tables.

Stage four this time sees Mikie running around a dance class, trying to collect hearts while avoiding dancing girls, the dance teacher, and also the ubiquitous classroom teacher again.

In the fifth and final stage Mikie is in a garden outside school and must avoid the football players who’re guarding the hearts he has to collect. When he’s got all the hearts he must then deliver them to Mandy to complete the game. And the game cycles back around to the beginning again.

Mikie‘s jolly soundtrack features chiptunes renditions of The Beatles songs “A Hard Day’s Night” and “Twist and Shout“, which were used with permission from “JASRAC“.

One thing I will say about Mikie – other than the fact that I love its weirdness – is that it is an incredibly hard game that requires total and utter concentration and skill to beat. If you have any hope of delivering those hearts to Mandy you really have to master the timing of those headbutts and how to quickly pick up and throw projectiles. Which really takes some practise. Mikie is an intense experience, but great fun when you get into it.

The Japanese version of Mikie, called “Shinnyū Shain Tōru-kun“, changed the classroom setting to an office, to avoid controversy. Which is one of the few times I’ve ever heard of that happening. Usually it’s the Western version that is censored and not the other way around. But no – the international release is the original un-altered version in this case.

A second revised version of Mikie was also released in 1985, called “High School Graffiti Mikie“, which features a less violent version of the gameplay with no headbutting.

More: Mikie on Wikipedia