Programmed by Don Rigby and published by Illusion Software in 1985, Pizza Pete for the Commodore 16/Plus4 could well be the single worst BurgerTime clone I’ve ever played. Which – as anyone who’s seen Barmy Burgers before – will know is an accolade that’ll take some beating…

There’s so much wrong with Pizza Pete that I’m going to quickly try to explain it in as few sentences as possible, so that I can move on and write something more worthwhile for this website…

Graphically, Pizza Pete is complete and utter rubbish, with blocky, juddery graphics, with next to no character. There’s even what looks like colour clash when the ‘sprites’ flicker as they pass in front of ladders…

Gameplay-wise, the main character moves on his own when you press a direction, and there’s a bug that will stop you dead when you try to go up or down ladders, which will no doubt lose you lives. When you do lose a life you must start a screen again from scratch (a sure fire sign that the programmer hasn’t even looked at the original BurgerTime, and has poor attention to detail). You can even ‘hide’ at the side of the screen where the enemies can’t touch you! This game really is beyond pathetic…

Why it’s called “Pizza Pete” I’ve got no idea, because you’re clearly dropping burgers and not pizzas (although there’s no top bun on these burgers, which I guess makes them “pizzas”. Sigh)…

That Illusion Software ever charged money for this garbage is beyond me. I’m guessing that they chose the name “Illusion” because that is exactly what this game is: a trick to either con people out of their hard-earned cash, or their even more valuable time. Or that they were a company that didn’t really exist and Pizza Pete is nothing more than a cruel joke…

Don’t waste any of your own time playing Pizza Pete – even if you’re a die-hard Commodore 16/Plus4 fan – it’s truly atrocious.

More: Pizza Pete on Moby Games